The break-up

Dear food,
We have been together for such a long time. Without you, I wouldn't be here and I've realized lately that it's time for us to shift our relationship.

I no longer want you in my thoughts 24/7. I will not go to bed or wake up with you as the first thing on my mind. I am so over the immediate gratification you give me. It's not enough. I want relationships that provide me with support and warmth beyond that first bite. I recognize you are not the end-all be-all no matter how great you look or taste. Those are merely your tools of seduction and I won't fall for them anymore. You will no longer create internal or external drama in my life. You have overstepped your bounds as far as your role in our relationship and I recognize that I have enabled that. Well, guess what. I choose to no longer enable you and any destructive part of our relationship. I realize that I can't release you completely since you do provide sustenance so in order for our relationship to thrive, here are a few important points:

• When you come to mind for any reason other than out of necessity (choosing what I will eat when I am hungry) I am going to shift my thought away from you.
• I am changing how I look at you. I can appreciate you but I don't have to be enamored with you.
• Don't take it personally if I don't return your calls.
• You are food. Period. You are not my lover, parent, child, friend, confidant, boss, pet, or self.
• I am choosing to take the energy that I have put into you back into myself and my real relationships.

I greatly appreciate all you have done for me and I know that you didn't do anything without an invitation from me first. While it feels a bit scary to redefine our relationship, I do so with trust and love.

and so it is. . .

Our March theme for Nighttime Nia at NiaMoves is abundance. I love this theme as Spring rolls in, awakens blossoms while green pops out and paints the formerly dreary landscape with movement and growth. And, in the space of abundance, I will step out of teaching Nia at NiaMoves at the end of March.

It was three years ago that I took my first Nia class at NiaMoves where, in the first few songs, my body celebrated with a "YES" and months later I began my course of study with White Belt with Green and Blue to follow.  Along the path of sharing Nia with others I have sensed, stumbled, laughed, created, cried, followed, led, transmitted, received, yelled, whispered, pushed, pulled, stretched, recoiled, blossomed, stood still, grown, and danced. My steps have taken me in all directions, including repeated bumps into the mirror when I've blurred truth's reflection.

I have found clarity to be a potent elixir. I am clear that I am a grateful student of Nia and that teaching at NiaMoves has been an amazing ride.  I am clear that it's time for shift and I embrace it filled with gratitude for all who have entrusted me with their space. I am clear that I am stepping out rather than stepping away. Yes, clarity certainly tastes delicious.

and so it is!

Stomach flu sensei

Yes, I have new respect after recently being in close relationship with the stomach flu. I discovered the sensation of eating for nourishment, a concept that has been lost on this emotional eater. Healing whatever it was that created havoc required paying close attention to what my body needed not what my mind wanted. In the early stages, I went to my mind and quickly discovered that the healing answer wasn't there. Then, as Nia teaches so eloquently, I went to my body and asked, waited, and received. Sensation led the team of my body's "specialists" working tirelessly to repair, replenish, and renew. Food carried no emotional weight. Its only purpose was to take its rightful place on my healing team. New information received through sensation.

My relationship with healing flourished in the contrast of dis-ease. I sense a new relationship with food will flourish as well and for that I bow to my recent sensei, stomach flu.

Body giggles

"Letting go" is an interesting concept to me. I tell myself (as well as hear it from others) to let go and release. At times, I choose to receive the suggestion as the nurturing tone of a parent consoling a crying child. Other times I choose to receive it accompanied by the whack of "SNAP OUTTA IT". What I have witnessed is my letting go occurs in sensation, when what I choose to hear fills me with  sensation rather than knocks me with thought. Imagine falling down the rabbit hole, grabbing onto anything that's protruding from the walls only to find it slipping through your hands until you relax your grip and suddenly the walls disappear and the fall transforms to a float, bubbles of resistance playfully popped with ahhhhhhh, teeheeeee along the way. Body giggles floating on trust's effervescence.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh