Popping Bubbles of Complaint

© Knobel | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos

Years ago, I was made aware of Louis Hay who pioneered exploration of the mind/body connection as it relates to dis-ease in our body. When a condition presents itself in my body, I refer to her book You Can Heal Your Life (http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=267) out of curiosity, to gather information. Sitting with an ear infection I turned to Louis to see what body wisdom is currently presenting itself:

Not wanting to hear. Anger or too much turmoil

Yes. Makes perfect sense as I have surrounded myself in complaint bubbles lately. These aren't the helium-filled beauties that rise through the air, rather the ones that when blown up simply lie on the ground waiting for action. Surrounding myself with these colorful images carry the superficial illusion of protection by separating me from others and myself. They also attract more and before I know it, I am surrounded by colorful hot air. I have heard myself use the excuse, but I offer solutions. . .  It's like I tell the students, "but(t) is what you sit on and doesn't excuse the action."

So here I sit, with a bubble in my ear and limited hearing. The doctor will probably prescribe antibiotics and perhaps induce a pop. The most effective remedy will most likely be my commitment to popping my complaint bubbles.

The break-up

Dear food,
We have been together for such a long time. Without you, I wouldn't be here and I've realized lately that it's time for us to shift our relationship.

I no longer want you in my thoughts 24/7. I will not go to bed or wake up with you as the first thing on my mind. I am so over the immediate gratification you give me. It's not enough. I want relationships that provide me with support and warmth beyond that first bite. I recognize you are not the end-all be-all no matter how great you look or taste. Those are merely your tools of seduction and I won't fall for them anymore. You will no longer create internal or external drama in my life. You have overstepped your bounds as far as your role in our relationship and I recognize that I have enabled that. Well, guess what. I choose to no longer enable you and any destructive part of our relationship. I realize that I can't release you completely since you do provide sustenance so in order for our relationship to thrive, here are a few important points:

• When you come to mind for any reason other than out of necessity (choosing what I will eat when I am hungry) I am going to shift my thought away from you.
• I am changing how I look at you. I can appreciate you but I don't have to be enamored with you.
• Don't take it personally if I don't return your calls.
• You are food. Period. You are not my lover, parent, child, friend, confidant, boss, pet, or self.
• I am choosing to take the energy that I have put into you back into myself and my real relationships.

I greatly appreciate all you have done for me and I know that you didn't do anything without an invitation from me first. While it feels a bit scary to redefine our relationship, I do so with trust and love.

and so it is. . .

Our March theme for Nighttime Nia at NiaMoves is abundance. I love this theme as Spring rolls in, awakens blossoms while green pops out and paints the formerly dreary landscape with movement and growth. And, in the space of abundance, I will step out of teaching Nia at NiaMoves at the end of March.

It was three years ago that I took my first Nia class at NiaMoves where, in the first few songs, my body celebrated with a "YES" and months later I began my course of study with White Belt with Green and Blue to follow.  Along the path of sharing Nia with others I have sensed, stumbled, laughed, created, cried, followed, led, transmitted, received, yelled, whispered, pushed, pulled, stretched, recoiled, blossomed, stood still, grown, and danced. My steps have taken me in all directions, including repeated bumps into the mirror when I've blurred truth's reflection.

I have found clarity to be a potent elixir. I am clear that I am a grateful student of Nia and that teaching at NiaMoves has been an amazing ride.  I am clear that it's time for shift and I embrace it filled with gratitude for all who have entrusted me with their space. I am clear that I am stepping out rather than stepping away. Yes, clarity certainly tastes delicious.

and so it is!

Stomach flu sensei

Yes, I have new respect after recently being in close relationship with the stomach flu. I discovered the sensation of eating for nourishment, a concept that has been lost on this emotional eater. Healing whatever it was that created havoc required paying close attention to what my body needed not what my mind wanted. In the early stages, I went to my mind and quickly discovered that the healing answer wasn't there. Then, as Nia teaches so eloquently, I went to my body and asked, waited, and received. Sensation led the team of my body's "specialists" working tirelessly to repair, replenish, and renew. Food carried no emotional weight. Its only purpose was to take its rightful place on my healing team. New information received through sensation.

My relationship with healing flourished in the contrast of dis-ease. I sense a new relationship with food will flourish as well and for that I bow to my recent sensei, stomach flu.

Body giggles

"Letting go" is an interesting concept to me. I tell myself (as well as hear it from others) to let go and release. At times, I choose to receive the suggestion as the nurturing tone of a parent consoling a crying child. Other times I choose to receive it accompanied by the whack of "SNAP OUTTA IT". What I have witnessed is my letting go occurs in sensation, when what I choose to hear fills me with  sensation rather than knocks me with thought. Imagine falling down the rabbit hole, grabbing onto anything that's protruding from the walls only to find it slipping through your hands until you relax your grip and suddenly the walls disappear and the fall transforms to a float, bubbles of resistance playfully popped with ahhhhhhh, teeheeeee along the way. Body giggles floating on trust's effervescence.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

WITH my body

At my recent Nia Blue Belt training, we were asked to share our reason for being there. Mine was to shift my relationship with my body and clear up the mixed messages I have been transmitting. When I shared this with a friend of mine, she looked at me with bewilderment and asked about me seeing my body as a separate entity with which I was in relationship. It was an interesting question and while I understood her perspective I realized that I was still unclear on my own. Sitting with this has illuminated an attic filled with dusty boxes of beliefs long ago packed away, the perceived security of their presence keeping me from venturing out too far. Seeing my body as something outside of myself had its purpose at various times in my life. These are not those times. Dusty boxes whose bottom corners are mildewed from teetering on damp rafters are being tossed with a mighty "OUT!" to make way for a solid foundation upon which my Sacred Livelihood is built.

From Nia White Belt Principle 11-  Creating a Sacred Livelihood is about consciously bringing your gifts to the world through each choice and action in a way that creates a life of happiness, a sense of purpose, and a sustainable state of health and well-being.

Uniting WITH my body, I am creating my Sacred Livelihood while holding the space for unconditional love. OUT! has made way for YES! as I transform my attic into sacred space in which I embrace my unique purpose with my body.

Honor Your Path

Today I celebrate seven years of consciously choosing to be alcohol-free. There are many things about this for which I am grateful. Waking up every morning with a clear head. Remembering phone conversations, movies, whether or not I blew out candles. No need for the hangover breakfast of champions - Coca-Cola and a Breakfast Jack. No empty negotiations with that beckoning wine bottle.

Whatever your path, I invite you to honor it with conscious steps. Celebrate the gifts that choice gives to each of us. Find peace through presence and joy through sensation.

Seven-year itch? Not in this body!

Wiggle Time

I'm embarking on a new chapter in my career as a public school educator. Titled "Fine Arts Teacher", this chapter opens up a world into which I previously had glimpses rather than extended stays. I held admiration for those who chose to be elementary educators not considering myself to be a likely candidate for the role myself. Having spent the first week in my new environment taking in the sights and sounds, I get why people choose to spend their careers with this age group. Wiggle Time.

One of the classes I observed was filled with pre-k students and taught by a woman who's attended my Nia class. I listened to the students go through the days of the week and dates of the month with  resounding NOOOOOOOOOOs when the teacher showed them the wrong day and shrill cries of YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS when she pointed to Tuesday, the 26th. Then she announced, "IT'S WIGGLE TIME!" and those little bodies jumped up and wiggled like gummy worms. They occasionally glanced with curiosity at the stranger who got up and wiggled with them until the teacher pointed to me and explained that Mrs. Ross-Moore was the one who taught her all her moves. We made rainbows (their favorite) and wagged our tails like puppy dogs and roared like lions. In that moment, a playfully present click vibrated through my body and I received yet another systemic confirmation of Nia's gifts.

Somewhere along the road to adulthood and beyond, play gets a bad rap. "Too playful in class" carries a negative connotation on a progress report. "If you'd quit playing around and get some work done. . ." is uttered with disdain for someone's lack of "productivity". What would happen if teachers were thrilled to write too playful in class or a boss/colleague/parent offered, Look at the amazingly imaginative work that comes forth from you when you play around. Just think of the magic that occurs in the space of play. Sand becomes castles. Arms become wings. Toes touch the stars and heads peek through clouds. Countless solutions can appear when we open our bodies to juicy imagination.

I invite you to explore spontaneous Wiggle Time, particularly if you are feeling blocked, bored, or frustrated. Of course, WT for the fun of it is highly recommended. My personal favorite for extended play - Nia, where sensation sparks imagination.

Craig Ross and Spoon rock Austin City Limits

very proud to call Craig my brother! His portion is approximately 28 minutes into the show.
Enjoy!
Austin City Limits - Spoon

Driving a new vehicle

Letting go of the following vehicle:  roomy, automatic, safe, great resale value, low mileage, under warranty, other title.

FAQs:
Why are you getting rid of this one?
A:      It's safe. roomy. consumes more fuel. automatic. someone else has the title. I get in, put it in drive and go. There's no need to sense when to shift gears. I can fill it with loads of crap that I don't need "just in case".

What are you diving now?
A.     older model, smaller, manual, higher mileage, clear title

Why?
A.     Its high mileage demonstrates resilience. consumes less fuel. runs efficiently. I'm learning to hug curves and shift with ease. It's clearly mine. I feel free when I move around in it.

off for a drive. . .

On the road to find out

One of the many aspects of Nia that I have loved is the concept of natural time. Tuning in to the body, tuning out distractions, and listening with highly attuned "ears" for movement cues. Getting a sense of when to remain still, when to move, when to speak, when to listen. I am enchanted by this magic of Nia particularly as I witness its potency whenever I do my best to engage my "ears" and listen for the silence that clues me in on an upcoming change in movement.
Recently, the silence has been whispering simplify and clarify
My body's response tell me more. . .
Start from the beginning. Pay close attention. Reclaim. Release should. Embrace the unknown. 
I thought you said to simplify. That sounds like quite a bit to do. And, if you're silence, why are you whispering?
Don't be a smart ass.


And so, I am on the road to find out, holding my Nia practice as my compass and trusting the course of my natural time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU-1v2R-2fY
 

RAW

For the past 15 years, I've spent the week before returning to school blown about in gale-force winds of activity.  My summer to-do checklist of monumental accomplishments designed to create ease would stare me in the face, checkless. Brewing underneath was usually a storm of dread showered with smatterings of excitement. Assemble that in one 5' package and watch out for ensuing carnage.

My last day of duty on June 24th turned out to be quite more than an ordinary last duty day. It was the day that my dear friend who happened to be my great boss was informed that she would not be returning to the school the following year. It was the day that I called upon that which I receive from Nia,  RAW - relaxed, alert, and waiting for the sound and silence to cue my moves. This summer spent in a heightened state of RAW has been filled with harmony. Even in times when I dipped into fear's discord, the stay was shortened by RAW's gentle encouragement back to sensation.

RAW is where I sense a shift from "thinking" I "need" to "do" something to sensing when action is warranted. I invite rather than direct or command. For me, it's about trusting that whatever I need will be revealed in natural time and be filled with wondrous possibilities. This has been my experience and continues to be so.

The light has returned to my friend's eyes. Sensing this gift has been well worth the wait.

Stop, sense, and listen

I was carrying out another load of clutter when "Stop, Look, and Listen before you cross the street" popped into my head. Then, I sensed the message in my body - it's really all about making conscious choices before taking steps so that when we do "step" across any street, we do so in a state of awareness. Profound for 60's elementary school lesson.

I have no segue into the next part except to say that there was some connection at the moment but the clutter got me distracted :-).

Click. Surrounding myself with more stuff limits my choices. I used to think that it was a great thing but surrounding myself with stuff keeps me in my head and limits my range of motion. More means I scatter my energy sifting through distractions and "trying" to make decisions rather than tapping into my sensation which is the clearest frequency when tuning in to what I want. Shifting to sensation opens endless possibilities from which I can concisely choose relying on feedback from my body rather than chatter from my mind. As my relationship with my Nia practice evolves, I deepen my appreciation for the freedom and grace in clarity. I'm learning to release distractions that complicate and clog channels of energy. I can now sense if I really want to cross that street in the first place or if where I am is right where I need to be.

Goodbye old cloak

There is a long story that I could share here that would paint a picture of drama and intrigue, and how this innocent lamb rose against "those who could do harm" with her mighty pen as her trusty sword. I'd tell my story, captivating audiences worldwide, gathering support for my plight and assuming permission to remain wrapped in my cloak of self-pity.

That is not my truth. Though I have done my best to wear that old tattered cloak, it no longer provides shelter from the elements. Its misshapen form constricts my breath and I ask myself: Why would I want protection from that which reminds me - Now I Am . . .  I tossed that cloak last night with a conscious chose (and a grand announcement to family) to move. My body expanded with breath and reveled in ribbons of sensation as the music led me in my dance of freedom.

I thought I heard that cloak call my name late in the night. It was actually screaming "OYYYYYYYY" as it melted into oblivion.

Conscious Adult Steps of Investment

A financial planner recently paid me a visit to discuss investments. He was surprised by the questions I brought forth, half joking that "people in education don't usually have an understanding of how all this stuff works". I surprised myself as I heard the questions emerge, being someone who viewed the likes of Suze Orman as a threat to my self-anointed right to self-gratification through spending. There are friends of mine at whom I marvel when it comes to their financial dexterity and I've often pondered the origins of such talent. I ruled out genetic connection in my case while watching close relatives in rapture over the Wall Street journal and CNBC as I dashed through through the room averting my eyes and pressing my palms against my ears so information wouldn't leak into my cells.

That was before. . .

Investment. I've now invited in a different way of sensing that in my body through a broadened definition - Investment is about consciously choosing that which nurtures well-being. When faced with decisions I am learning to ask, Is this a wise investment? and to listen to my body's response. My body instinctively takes into consideration the variables and parties concerned. My head fills space with confusion and doubt and creates blocks where there are none. My body expands in space and allows clarity. This shift is gliding me through several major decisions of late.

I just asked my body if a subscription to the Wall Street Journal is in order. I'm thinking nausea is enough clarity for me.

Essence

By definition, core means: central or innermost part; basic or most important part; hard or fibrous central part of certain fruits containing the seeds. The "earth's core" or "core subjects" are points upon which we layer. In Nia we address the three body weights - pelvis, chest, and head as the core and invite them to unite in alignment. Moving and strengthening our core can open channels of energy. Hip circles can spark creativity from our sacral chakra. Inviting the belly button to chew can provide nourishment from seeds of strength in our solar plexus. Sensing our intercostal muscles remind us that our heart space has the capacity to radiate love and acceptance. Connecting our three eyes to fingertips, directions, and others can reveal new pathways that broaden our horizons. This is the week's focus - Connecting to our essence, the core, with the intention to align as we broaden our horizons.

Leaps and parachutes

"Leap and the net will appear" - Zen quote
My absolute favorite quote. It is part of a collage that hangs on the office door, inviting all those to enter to be prepared for anything and to welcome change with wondrous excitement. I find myself the one most frequently accepting the invitation.

I've heard it called "leap of faith". Whatever the phrasing, this perspective (that I have adopted as my mantra) has proven itself without fail each time I have tested. Sometimes, the leaps are ones realized in retrospect. Others have been tiny jumps when I wasn't able to fully trust the net. And then there are those that manifest from conscious choices grounded in clarity of what I want.

Woven into the present tapestry of my parachute are threads of sound and silence. My former pattern of movement was cued only by sound, sometimes so much and so often that I felt unsteady, unsure of where or if I would land. The leaps felt as though they were launched from a precipice and mid-flight, I'd grasp at the air with doubt. Through my Nia practice, I have learned to listen to the silence for flight cues. RAW - Relaxed Alert Waiting guides conscious choices of movement. In a state of RAW, I am present to receive and respond. No guessing is required as I trust the innate wisdom of my body to guide me. Doubt floats by as I mingle with clouds headed towards my net of abundance secured by cheers of excitement. I land, receive with appreciation, and listen. . .

Numbers. . .

Last night's class focus was shift with the intention of intrinsic releasing and gathering. When we moved into floorplay we invited in awareness of something to release as well as something to gather. As I asked, I sensed the fear of numbers in my body - number on the scale, number of students, number of classes, number of friends, number on evaluations, number on tests. . . As I rolled, pushed, pulled, and then remained in stillness, I sensed the threat of losing my job (NOT my sacred livelihood) this week over a number, the fear of a high number on the scale, the judgment placed on my worth based on a number. The dots connected and I released the power I have given to those numbers and to those who value numbers over people. All this occurred while sharing the space with my gift of a desk guide, Rachel. Everything was exactly as it needed to be.

The profound simplicity of Energy Allies

1. Speak With Impeccability
2. Don’t Assume Anything
3. Don’t Take Anything Personally
4. Always Do Your Best

Without them, I create a wall that limits my view as well as my range of motion. With them, I move with joy along the spectrum of endless possibilities.

"be who you are and say what you feel

because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)

This quote greets me each day from a whimsical maroon mirror that hangs in my office. It captured my attention at an Austin art festival and I purchased it as a tool to invite reluctant students into reflective conversation centered around conscious choices. Some days I am kept busy talking to myself . . .